No More Mr. Nice Guy
We are called to goodness not niceness.
That is not to say we aren’t also to be nice, but it is not so much the point. Too often general society–and Christians–mix up the two to their own detriment.
Biblically speaking the word “good” appears 614 times in the NIV, whereas “nice” appears… well not at all. Granted–this is a cursory look and different translations/interpretations of the original words could be presented differently, but I think you get the point.
Nice is one of the words we learn at a young age as a generally light and positive word. It’s a word we like to use a lot: partly because we have a limited and un-oiled vocabulary, and partly because of it’s flexibility in vagueness. Often it is true, though not saying much. Most often, “nice” describes a person generally pleasing, agreeable, socially acceptable, polite or kind.
So what’s wrong with that?
There’s nothing wrong with that. What’s wrong is that we are taught to be nice, more than we are taught to be good. What’s wrong is that some think being nice–is–the same as being good. Though the same applies to non-Christians and non-men (i.e. women lol), this is an especially dangerous poison of thought that has sunk into too many would-be Christian men for generations. Running parallel and opposite to the overemphasized “niceness” is the overemphasized “machoness” of man. It should be understandable, then, for any man to be turned off from a pursuit of Christ. It should be clear that niceness is not the ultimate goal to any Christian who has read his Bible and thinks earnestly about it.
No, you do not have to agree with everything and always please others. No, turning the other cheek does not mean weak, mindless submission so you can be trampled. How can a real Christian man possibly be all those aspects of nice? How can truth in conviction be defended in action without disagreement? Clearly we have values which are counter-cultural (i.e. not socially acceptable). Yes, be polite and kind always. But don’t be so soft as to be a spineless blob. Neither go the other extreme and think yourself a man being hard and cold–that’s just being inhuman.
Strive to be good. Niceness just kinda follows.
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love. – 1 Cor 16:13-14
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. – Philippians 4:8
July 11th, 2008 at 9:14 am
yeah!
Indeed, as Christians there are times that we have to stand firm in what we believe, and be strong.
Sometimes, we also have to encourage others (which can be uncomfortable to others) and even rebuke (with gentleness). Being too nice can hinder these activities.
November 16th, 2008 at 9:29 am
actually a further developed thought came to me: as Christians our call is more to holiness than goodness.