We are ruled by the “everything, now” mentality. Instant this, instant that. Instant noodles. Instant downloads. Instant messaging. The power of our mental facilities has allowed it.

As man found more ways to empower himself in his works, more time was freed up. In the early agrarian societies it was the move from manual labour to guided labour by domesticated animals. Later it was the beginnings of mechanization, followed by industrialization. Today automation grows and grows and sooner than we think: robots will be in our home.

Each stage of these kind of developments are not only tremendous milestones in the growth of civilization but were catalysts for societal change. The growing efficiencies of early civilizations freed time for people to think: to grow in the arts, philosophy, science and so on. Industrialization stimulated rapid urbanization and the past two decades of technological advance have led to a new levels of interconnectedness, accessibility and overall globalization.

Things became faster, more accessible, more varied, more fun. In lieu of free time put to learning and the arts there is an addiction to entertainment. Everything needs to be here, now, and for me. We’re a lazy ands self-seeking generation. In a society where so much is done for the self and comes fairly easily, it’s no wonder that we grow up this way.

These ‘advancements’… there’s good… and there’s bad. It seems to me like the more advancements there is outside ourselves, the less advancement there is inside ourselves.

The glory of God is man fully alive. - St. Irenaeus

That’s pretty awesome, ‘cuz I wanna be fully alive, anyway. There’s a certain simultaneity to it. I’ve found that I feel most alive when I am experiencing God. It’s different from other instances or periods of happiness. It’s more than the joys of human relationship, even the romantic ones. It’s an utter satisfaction.
The concept of Christian Hedonism which I first read about couple years ago captures it nicely.

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him. - John Piper

I wanna be fully alive. Fully awake. Fully aware. Consciousness heightened. Senses primed. I want to breathe life in deeply and savor it. To enjoy every last bit of the living experience. God created us to, after all.

The quintessential key to being fully alive is freedom.
The quintessential key to freedom is life in Christ.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. - Galatians 5:1a

Amidst all the trials of the years I have felt the undercurrent of freedom and hope carry through. When times are clear, the coursing current shoots up to such an ineffable experience of joy, making me to appreciate and delight in the simplest of things, being fully alive.

At the end of the day, while there are mathematical uncertainties to my faith, at least that much is to me undeniable. ( And there’s a lot more =D )

-

On a side note: To be fully alive–It’s also why I wouldn’t wanna take drugs and dislike getting drunk. Just numbs me to a hazy second world, away from the real life I want to live every second of. Neither would I want to watch too much TV as I used to when I was a kid; nor read too much; nor think too much. It’s all good n all, but life is waiting to be lived =D

freedom

Like that HTC Touch Diamond?

Or the Nokia N78?

I don’t think they’re even available in North America yet. But I’ve had a chance to toy around with these =D

They’re sweet lil phones and I’ve gotten so used to these and other slick high-end phones in our collection that I’ve come to see these as standard. Cellphones have come a long way since my free with contract candybar Nokia and the then-significant upgrade to Motorola e815.

Yet even at the high-end, most cellphones have a long way to go in my opinion. As a power-user of whatever tech I come across (digging through every last menu and submenu option to optimize and get familiarized with my tools): speed is very important to me.

The vast majority of cellphones are to me annoying to use for anything beyond simply calling. They are slow in a) response and b) sideloading transfer speeds.

A) Because I whiz by familiar menus I’d like the phone to at least keep up with the speed of my fingers. What’s most annoying is when I hit softkeys and they don’t respond for nearly a second after. Navigating through a few menus and to load a program is a pain with this slowness. It’s the case with the Sony Ericsson k850i and the HTC Diamond. Then sometimes when whizzing by in usage and the system can’t keep up it trips over itself and kinda hangs, even when no softkeys are involved, like on the Nokia N78. The Diamond has a nice GUI (TouchFlo 3D) in its effort toward a better user experience. It’s spiffy but it’s slow… and that for me completely undermines it. I’d rather a menu with a simplified look that responds faster. Though in all this I must say that the iPhone satisfies quite well. I haven’t played with it too much but it’s a pleasure to use UI and response-wise.

B) Sideloading. So it’s been a good number of years since most devices have transitioned to USB 2.0. Most cellphones now support USB 2.0. But it’s absolutely ridiculous to transfer files with cellphones by USB. USB 2.0 is 60MBps (480MBps) by spec but implementations vary (if you didn’t know). Here’s some benchmarking I did recently

To do these: a single file of 677MB size was used to benchmark the write speed (on an IBM Thinkpad T60). Through a separate comparative benchmark the SanDisk 8GB MicroSDHC and SanDisk 6GB MicroSDHC were proven to be the same speed. The fastest available M2 cards were used to test the Sony Ericsson phones, which would not accept microSD.

Keep in mind that the media cards used are among the fastest available nowadays and that transfers of multiple files (many mp3s, videos, photos etc) take much longer than transfer of a single file in equivalent size.

From the benchmark results it’s clear that the majority of devices are excruciatingly slow and below the happy theoretically touted USB 2.0 60MBps spec. We see RIM sitting solid at the top in speed rankings (though still less than ideal). Next is Apple’s iPod (not iPhone) and Microsoft’s Zune. As portable music players which are frequently sync’d it is definitely important to have good USB sideloading performance. Poor overall, but at least ranking high-ish amongst the benchmarked. The rest of the devices, being real cellphones, do worse still. Sitting at the bottom, Sony Ericsson has a pitiful 0.63MBps, meaning a 1GB transfer would take over an hour.

Sure I don’t make 1GB transfers all too much. But a 1-50MB transfer to refresh with a few new mp3s or to grab a few photos is a frequent activity. Or at least it would be a frequent activity if it weren’t so slow. I don’t wanna frequently wait >5min for the tiniest little change to complete.

Although the exclusive claims of the gospel are hard for the younger generation to accept, they are being drawn to the Christian faith and the person of Jesus in large numbers. With this attraction comes a social activism that is part and parcel of what they believe. There is a new breed of evangelicals growing up among young people today. They do not call themselves evangelicals. In fact, they often do not want to be categorized at all. They are highly committed to justice issues.

There is a movement that calls its adherents to sacrificial, incarnational living among the poor in order to communicate and live the gospel. This movement is strong and growing…

The article also notes the good and bad news observing the trend in the worldwide church.

Now for some good news: the Church in America is moving toward becoming a people in exile rather than the majority faith that is often little more than cultural Christianity. Most things about a church in exile are good.

Yet that compassion is oft numb. Paralyzed by the overwhelming media coverage we have. I found this article convicting and really hit home on that paralysis: Who is my Neighbour? Paralyzed by CNN: Dealing with Compassion Burnout.

The second article I read, entitled Evangelism and Social Concern, also resounded with my growing concern beyond the spiritual needs of people. Since becoming Christian I have believed it most important that we reach out to people for their spiritual needs. Not for the numbers on some misled religious conversion crusade but out of love, consistent with the truth I honestly believe, I put my focus on where it matters most: the spiritual health of people.

Whenever an opportunity arises for donation–whether prompted by people, crisis, or routine at church–the question of how to be a good steward of my money would arise and the same answer would be re-affirmed: save the money for spiritual charities like missionary work. Again, not out of disdain for non-spiritual things nor due to a conversion-crazy mindset, but in keeping with my values. I mean, spiritual work has eternal impact, while social work is only a band-aid solution, after all…

And this I still believe.

But what an important band-aid it is!

That is the thought gaining weight in me now.

No–not because of the thought that we can’t effectively reach people spiritually if we don’t minister to them physically. That is a) untrue because the Holy Spirit can work in any way and b) manipulative and conniving to see filling physical needs as only a barrier to conversion.

Now allow me to use the term “social work” with my non-academic understanding in a wide encapsulating way: anything non-spiritual but charitable, philanthropic or whatever comes to mind.

Social work is important because:

1. though not spiritual/eternal, the physical/emotional/psychological/social aspects are still real, and are essential dimensions of human life.
2. Jesus’ immense focus on social work models this as a priority for us
3. God’s call for us to love one another most surely includes social work

What’s more, it is also important to me because it stirs me so deeply. God has given me such compassion for people as it is–a big drive in why I serve–so for those in poverty and brokenness not only spiritual but also physical–that breaks my heart to another level still.

——————————–

So what will I do? Mmm I pondered this in a previous entry and it is still unclear. What’s new is a distinctly strong call–stronger than ever–to a more direct ministry as a vocation rather than as a side-thing, and the thoughts of this post in combination with a revelation of personal character brings me to this.

Obviously anyone–even the most sedate and numb of persons–when inspired will be moved deeply. That’s inherent in the definition of being inspired. But I have found that I am inspired by things both deeply and frequently. Both the depth and frequency grows and, moreover, I find the growing desire to expose myself to things likely to inspire.

So if Leadership is my gift: Inspiration is my style. Well, at least it is a major part of it.

The result is the aim to live an all around good life worthy enough to inspire others, underscored by the desire to affect those influenced to a) take personal action and b) be of further inspirational influence.

In such a way my efforts are not alone and the fruits of labor are multiplied exponentially.

Not for me; but for you. For your good; and what’s good is God. — Yes, I want to be a hero.

I’ve been on the receiving end of the no-wait, online and phone prayers a number of times before, after all.

I can say with thanksgiving I have been blessed with much. Many skills. Many opportunities.

But there’s so many options. So many paths…

They’re all good… And I can, of course, do multiple things at once and also change course in life.

But what is maximally beneficial for the world and for the glory of God? What can I do that will sweep the masses and give them a better life?

Will I write an inspirational, insightful book
…Will I mentor two people, who will mentor four people
who will mentor eight people… to an exponential propagation of
…bold, loving, and faithful
Will I lead a spiritual movement or revival
…or be a motivational speaker on leadership?
Will I be a great evangelist like Billy Graham?
…or become a billionaire and enable charities like Bill Gates?
Perhaps instead I’ll invent something
…to solve world issues of energy, famine, health…
Shall I instead enter into politics
…and lead with integrity?

mmm

and if a book
…will people read it?
and if I mentor
…will I reach enough?
and if revival
…will it last?
and if leadership, evangelist, billionaire, inventer, or politician…
…if I even get there… will I be able to overcome
the the world-sized mechanisms
…of corruption and greed?
Will not the power behind all the
…hidden agendas and vested interests
of world powers in their varied forms
…undermine or even subvert my efforts?

How depraved mankind. How hopeless our world…

I know and rejoice in the hope of Christ in my life. Any life I see - whether personal friend, acquaintance, or absolute stranger - I see with hope. It is the world directly around me. But the realities of the world at large weigh on me now. In the end… what can we do?

Well… with the realistic tensions and burdens of the above, but also with complete belief and resolve… this is what I see:

1) We can do what we can do. (What more can we do? heh)

2) Pray. If what I believe about my God is true then ultimate change must be sourced from the ultimate God.

Pray. Act.

mmm. And so as one meditation has led to another, I have come full circle to ponder again what I will specifically do.

But this time: perhaps the circle is a little tighter.

But anyhow. Four movies: Pan’s Labyrinth, Napoleon Dynamite, End of the Spear, and The Constant Gardener. Movie watching has stirred up some interesting thoughts…

Pan’s Labyrinth was highly enjoyable. I hadn’t found myself so drawn into the fantasy world of such ’simplicity’ in a long time. It was a fairy tale filmed remarkably well. Layers, textures, colours. Spent a while watching the featurettes, too, with the director sharing his thoughts. Apart from the subtle charms and jollies in the fairy tale essence, I was also distinctly appalled by the cruelty and violence. The torture scenes were mostly implicit but highly suggestive. My imagination is vivid… A good-hearted rebel was being tortured for answers by the fascist captain.

Made me think… would I *really* have the strength to withstand pains of extended torture? Could I maintain the honour, loyalty, and integrity by which I live and proclaim as good? … also made me think I should read more fiction as a healthy injection of creative work and to round out my writing style, which I currently find too technical.

Napoleon Dynamite. Dry humour. Ya I have that kind of humour in me too. It passed the time with some smiles and a laugh or two. The highlight was the dance =p Ya… time just kinda passed.

Made me think… should I learn to dance like that? haha .. right…

End of the Spear. As alluded to in my post a while ago, Jim Elliot is a major role model of mine. Before I had personal upper year mentors and role models, without any cartoon or comic superhero obsessions, and besides Christ Himself — Jim Elliot was the first person I label a role model to me. The movie is based on the true story of 5 missionaries (Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, Ed McCully, Peter Fleming, and Roger Youderian) who died in reaching out to the (then viscious) Huaorani tribal people in 1956. I put this movie in seeking for some renewed inspiration and motivation in this period of spiritual dullness.

Made me think… how willing am I to surrender everything to God? It reminded me of how much we can pour out to be blessings to others, for the glory of God. And, in contrast, how far from my potential I am. Not necessarily in outright missions (though again I wonder if every qualification is just a disguised weakness and hesitation) — but how much more boldly and selflessly I can live my life! Knowing well that there is deep meaning and eternal value in the ordinary (read June 15 drudgery), I believe there is still more to strive for.

The Constant Gardener was more of a good conspiracy/spy type thriller than the layered artsy film I, for some reason, had thought it to be. [Spoiler alert] The central conspiracy was that a major pharmaceutical company collusion with the British government were fast-tracking a cure for a newly evolved tuberculosis by testing on “dispensable” africans and then covering up any ill results. Set mostly in Africa, watching this movie stirred in me similar feelings as I had watching Blood Diamond. Corporate and political mega-powers and their gross exploitation of the already struggling population in poverty… People being seen and treated as nameless expendable resources… it really aggravates me.

Made me think… all these movies of cruelty, violence, exploitation, abuse, corruption. Social injustice and crime on such dramatic and exciting scales are more real and commonplace than we might think. We watch these movies; get our kick; move on. But it’s appalling to think about the real world around us and how depraved it is. More and more I have found myself angered by injustices of strong preying on weak. I want to intercede. To protect.

But I must be strong. Obviously… so this serves as a reminder and motivation for me to strengthen myself. Training, development, growth in all facets to aid in all dimensions. More physical strength if fights erupt. More wisdom to comfort and guide. More spiritual formation as my source and foundation.